Fifty Candles, A Full Heart: What Turning 50 Means to Me
On the 3rd of June, I’ll be blowing out fifty candles—half a century on this beautiful, messy, extraordinary planet. It's a milestone that’s stirred up a whole mix of emotions: reflection, pride and an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
Reaching this age isn’t something I take lightly. It’s a privilege—not everyone gets the gift of growing older and I intend to honour it with both hands open and heart wide.
The Road Here Wasn’t Straightforward
Like many of us, I’ve lived through my share of storms. I’ve felt the weight of bereavement, faced the reality of cancer, walked through the emotional wreckage of divorce and started over—more than once. Each of these moments cracked me open, sometimes painfully, but always with purpose. With every break came clarity, resilience and a deeper understanding of who I really am.
It was from this place of truth that Barbour Coaching was born. I knew I wanted to take the lived experiences that shaped me and use them to support others through change, uncertainty and self-discovery.
Growing the business has challenged me, stretched me and—most importantly—filled me with purpose. Every client inspired me and reminds me that healing, growth and transformation are always possible. We’re all doing our best with the tools we have and sometimes, we just need someone to help us sharpen them.
The Menopause Chapter
Then came menopause—my not-so-silent companion of recent years. It's arrival brought waves of change: physical shifts, emotional tides and moments of confronting truth. But alongside the brain fog, the sleepless nights and the occasional identity wobble, came something unexpected: wisdom.
Menopause became an invitation to slow down, to tune in and to care more intentionally—for others, yes, but also, finally, for myself.
New Love, and a New Kind of Love
Somewhere along the way, a new relationship bloomed—with someone who sees and values me deeply. But perhaps more profoundly, I’ve built a relationship with myself that feels more rooted, kind and strong. I no longer hustle for approval. I no longer apologise for needing rest or space. I no longer shrink to fit.
There’s something fiercely liberating about stepping fully into who you are.
What I’ve Learned at 50
Healing isn’t linear. It twists and and turns like a messed up ball of wool, but always moves us forward.
Starting over doesn’t mean failure—it means growth.
Change, even when uncomfortable, is often the gateway to becoming who we’re meant to be.
And most of all, I’ve learned to be grateful. Grateful for this body that has carried me through illness and healing. For the people who’ve walked beside me with love. For the quiet mornings, the loud laughter, the tears, the lessons and the wild, wonderful journey of being human.
A Full Stop and a Fresh Page
Fifty feels like both an ending and a beginning. I’m not chasing youth—I’m choosing presence. I’m not fearing what’s ahead—I’m welcoming it, open-hearted and curious (though let’s be honest, I still feel like a 17-year-old winging it in a grown-up world most days!).
To those reading this: Thank you! Thank you for being part of the story so far.
Here’s to the next chapter—with love,
Suzanne x
